Best Halloween Jokes for Kids & Adults to Tickle Your Funny Bone

Even if you only consider the holiday as a stopover before Thanksgiving and Christmas, you're sure to have some fun with this assortment of the best Halloween jokes.

They are inspired by sweets, costumes, ghosts, ghouls, monsters, magic, and much more as well as suitable for both kids and adults.

Go check them out now!

Best jokes for Halloween

Best Halloween Jokes For Adults

• Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.

• Why are all mummies workaholics? They're afraid to unwind!

• What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance? The muenster mash!

• When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day.

• What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.

• How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.

• What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.

• How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.

• Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Best adult Halloween jokes

• What’s a witches’ pick-up line? Hey, you’ve got hex appeal!

• Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.

• Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath.

• What do you call a little monsters parents? Mummy and Deady.

• What is a Skeleton’s favorite song? Bad to the Bone.

• How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.

• What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets.

• What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? High-spirited. 

• Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

• What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

• What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!

• What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!

• Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.

Halloween best jokes for adults

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Best Halloween Jokes For Kids

• Which key opens a haunted house? A spook-key!

• What’s a ghost’s favorite game to play on the playground? Hide and Shriek.

• Why couldn’t the ghost see his mom and dad? Because they were trans-parent.

• What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream.

• Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.

• Why did the monster's team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.

• What happened to the zombie who ran in the race? It came in dead last.

• Where does a witch park her vehicle? In the broom closet.

• Why couldn't the witch make a speech? There was a frog in her throat.

Best kids Halloween jokes

• What does the witch ask her sisters the day after Halloween? Witch one of you has my candy

• Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to The Body Shop.

• Why did the cyclops stop teaching? Because he only had one pupil.

• Where did the witch have to go when she misbehaved? She had to go to her broom.

Best Halloween Dad Jokes

• What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!

• What do you call a moon out of orbit? A lunatic!

• How did Dracula learn to be a vampire? He took a crash corpse.

• What is zombie Shakespeare's favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!

• What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone-appetit!

• Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.

Best dad jokes Halloween

• What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!

• What is a ghost’s favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.

• The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.

• What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!

• Why won’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they always taste like sheet.

• How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.

• Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend!

• What do skeletons learn about in history class? Napoleon Bone-a-part!

• Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.

Best dad Halloween jokes

• What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd!

• How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!

• What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin

• Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.